No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
