..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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