I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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