i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
