She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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