Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
