I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
