there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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