and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
