But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
