That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
