well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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