is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
