Define "chronic" masturbator.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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