dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
