her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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