How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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