And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
