I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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