i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
