But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
