You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
