but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
