After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
