dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
