I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
