I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
did you just send me my own nude
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
