Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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