And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
