I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
