i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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