This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
