I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
