so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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