I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
