Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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