Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
