I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
