Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
