Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
