Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
