Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
