You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can I color on your dick again?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
