Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I lost the right to judge tonight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
