i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
