Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
