Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
