im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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