2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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