Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
