carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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