i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
