um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
