good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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