I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
