i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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