woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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