What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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