i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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