I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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