Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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