guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
