Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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