If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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